I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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