I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i believe in u and ur pee
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
