We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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