What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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