went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
