your thong is hanging out like whoa
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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