idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
