Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
