At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
