i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
