are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
