is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
