Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
