i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
