i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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