Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize