TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
