Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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