high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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