oh god the rape fog is back!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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