He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
