Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
