i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
