Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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