all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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