Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
