he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There's always time for handjobs
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
