Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
