i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
