Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
