the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
