The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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