you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
