Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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