How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
