that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
