Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
