You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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