So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
