I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
