He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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