i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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