He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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