Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
