If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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