Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
