Already got asked if we're dating
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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