I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
