finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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