u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
