I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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