I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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